Are You Waiting For The 'Right Time'?
A hint. It takes courage.
When you get married, it is hardly ever a good decision. Financially, that is.
You could always wait a few years until your job is more stable, wait a few more to save up extra money to add extravagance to the wedding, then wait an extra couple of more years to have the money for an unforgettable honeymoon.
But if you wait until everything it right until you take action, you may end up like the people in this poem...
"The bride, white of hair, is stooped over her cane.
Her footsteps - uncertain - need guiding.
While down the opposite church aisle with a wan, toothless smile
The bridegroom in a wheelchair comes riding.
Now who is this elderly couple, thus wed?
Well, you'll find when you closely explore it
That here is a rare, most conservative pair
Who waited until they could afford it!"
There is no right time.
And there will never be a right time.
As humans, we delude ourselves into thinking that there is a possible right time for everything
Quit our job
And it all comes down to how our brain works.
The brains three parts and one of them holds us back.
Our brain is three parts to it. Scientists call it the triune brain.
There is the neocortex. This controls all of the modern stuff. The thinking, interacting, language, bike riding etc.
There is the limbic brain. This controls our mammal instincts like bringing up children and feeling of connectivity and love for others.
And finally we have the reptilian brain which controls all of your involuntary activity such as digestion, eye blinking, heart beating and adrenaline.
The reptilian brain is the part which holds us back most of the time. It hates uncertainty. It wants to keep us safe and secure. It doesn't like being vulnerable. It's the deepest, most hard wired part of who we are.
What does this have to do with waiting for the right time?
Well, all of the things that you want to do have an uncertain answer.
Want to get quit your job? Well what's going to happen after?
Want to get lose weight? You know you will have to change.
Want kids? Well that's a curveball of uncertainty!
All of these things you want to do make you feel insecure and vulnerable.
And you can't just will against your reptilian brain to be excited about it. It's perfectly normal to have tendency to retreat from those feelings of uncertainty and vulnerability.
Ever thought "Woohoo. Change! Instabiltiy! Insecurity! Bring it on"?
What you have to realise is that confidence is overrated.
Courage is so much more important.
Your confidence is developed up over time after repetitive success at any specific endeavour. The more you do it, the more successful you are, and the more confidence you have that the next time you do it you will be as or more successful.
But COURAGE. Courage allows you to take that first step without any guarantee of safety or security. You have to put yourself in a vulnerable position and just take the leap.
Stuff like this only requires a belief that it's possible.
If you want to do it now. Then do it now.
If you're afraid to do it now, then try to live in a moment of courage and take the first step.
No amount of money or security is ever going to give you the sense that this is the right time. Because that first step is always going to be uncertain.
Do you want it badly enough to risk it or not?